It was in the past two years that I have experienced the most heartbreaking times in my life. It’s heartbreaking in the sense that I lost two of the most treasured persons in my life. I lost my maternal grandmother from cardiac arrest last September 2009. After almost a year, five days before my grandma’s first death anniversary, her husband, my maternal grandfather, died of complications from diabetes. It’s heartbreaking in the sense that during that time, they are the closest persons that died. However, it’s also a relief because both of them have suffered a lot of pains prior to their passing. My grandma was on comatose before dying, while my grandpa had suffered from lots of painful bedsores and internal complications before breathing his last.
But of the two of them, it seems that my grandmother was the “restless one.” After her death, there were many instances that my grandmother is trying to “communicate” through my mother. According to Mama, she keeps of dreaming of grandma every night (at that time). Though she cannot see grandma’s face, she is certain that it was grandma from her hair and her usual outfit (which, by the way, are dusters). Every time she tries to see grandma’s face, she will wake up as soon as her (grandma’s) face is almost shown. My mom even told me that if not grandma, it’s the treasured things that she kept that would appear in her dream. For instance, there was one time when my mother dreamed of my grandma’s jewelry box, which contained well - kept jewelry and some precious and semi - precious stones. She also showed up to my grandfather (he’s still alive at that time) sometime in her 40 – day period. According to him, he saw my grandma near the altar in the middle of the night. This time, she’s not alone. She was with a little girl which, they assumed, is my older sister who died during birth. He even woke my aunt up because the little girl was playing with the lighted candle in the altar. When my aunt went there, she saw no one near the altar. She only saw my grandma’s picture and the lighted candle on the altar.
Unlike my grandmother who died unexpectedly, I can say that my grandfather prepared for his death. In fact, after my grandmother’s burial, my grandfather called me and said his last wishes to me. At that time, I didn’t know that it will be his last wish for me. He said, “I want you to study hard. I want you to finish your studies and graduate in college, just what your mother, aunts and uncle did. Don’t indulge yourself in relationships yet. I would be very happy if you do.” According to my aunt, a few months before grandpa died, he let her look for the clothes that he wanted to wear during his wake: his slacks, barong, and shoes. September last year, five days before my grandma’s first death anniversary, he rested…in peace. I believe so because he did not “show up” to any of us after his death.
Now, does the dead communicate with the living? Based from my mother’s and my grandfather’s accounts, I believe that they do, but if and only if they died unexpectedly, they died against their wishes, or they died with some unfinished business, just like in my grandmother's case. I think one contributing factor on why my grandmother “communicated” with my mother is because she (my mother) was not by my grandma’s side when she breathed her last. It was dawn and there weren’t any vehicles to take her to the hospital. Because her heart attack came unexpectedly, she was not able to give her last wishes to any of us. In the case of my grandfather, he died prepared, everything already “put in place”, and accepting the fact that his time had come. He died in peace.
So far, I have not experienced ghost encounters yet nor dreamed of dead people. But I believe that if ever they show up to me, there is something that they wish to convey to or for a certain person. Since they are no longer with their bodies, I believe that they tend to use the people close to them to express how much they love that person. Yes, I consider myself lucky if that happens, but I do admit that I am going to freak out when that time comes. I was already horrified just hearing my mother's and my grandfather's accounts. How much more if I'll experience that myself?
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